


Living Among Otters is Nothing Compared to Living with You, Dear

by cmartlover



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, because it demanded to be written, my take on the otter incident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2363666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmartlover/pseuds/cmartlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The otter incident. What really happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living Among Otters is Nothing Compared to Living with You, Dear

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah...12 mentioned River! Just had to write my version of that otter story.

When they finally reached the TARDIS doors, River practically dragged the Doctor by the hand. Her soiled battle dress billowed around her legs as she rushed over to the console, leaving her disheveled husband at the TARDIS entranceway, bent over with his hands on his knees, struggling to catch his breath.

Adrenaline coursing through her body, River Song quickly found the correct lever, the mathematical calculations for the flight filling her mind, as she piloted them out of there.

With a sigh of relief, she carefully placed her gun back in its holster and closed her eyes for a moment, silently thankful they’d made it in time.

Before she could even regain her bearings fully, she felt the intensity of her husband’s fury as he stomped up the stairs only to grab her wrist abruptly. His fingers shook, pushing harder and harder and tightening their grip.

“ _WhatthehellwasthatRiver?”_ he screamed, eyes blazing with such anger that she trembled.

“That? _That_ was me saving your unappreciative little hide for about the billionth time!” she yelled right back, her own rage pooling in her chest. Yanking her hand out of his before he could protest, she circled the console to the scanner.

“Oh, is that what you’d call it? I’d call it resorting to _unnecessary violence_ and going against everything I told you to do even though you knew I had everything under control!” he trailed behind her, stomping his foot like a 3-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, his face all scrunched up.

“’Under Control?’ Sweetie, you and I both know you didn’t have the slightest bit of a plan, and if I hadn’t shot the general that was holding you hostage, he would’ve snapped you in half like a toothpick!”

“ _I_ would’ve figured out a way to get out if you had just given me a tiny bit more time. But no, _of course_ not, you just couldn’t resist using that _precious_ gun of yours. You just had to give into those bloody murderous instincts, didn’t you?” she flinched at that, but he kept going, mouth teeming with insults. “ _River_ , you could’ve been killed! I told you to go back to the TARDIS where it was safe! You should’ve listened to me.”

“Well, _sorry_ , but I wasn’t about to leave my husband in a position where he would’ve very well been killed if I hadn’t intervened!”

“Ha! Well, I would’ve never been in that position if you hadn’t been so insistent that we’d find those stupid earrings you just _had_ to wear even though you know how easily danger catches up with us! Seriously? They were just any old earrings, River. We could’ve left right then, avoided this whole situation and gone back to the TARDIS, which if I may point out, has an infinite supply of any jewelry you could possibly hope for!”

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall, not willing to let him so violently strip her of her composure.

“Those earrings were important to me.” she whispered quietly, face stoic.

“Important enough to nearly get us both nearly killed, I don’t think so!” a bitter laugh escaped his mouth, and he shook his head.

“Yeah, says the man who decided to land us in the middle of a warzone, insisting it was a surprise. Nice surprise indeed.” The smile that breached her lips was one of silent mockery.

Her husband’s eyes widened for a moment, but he soon narrowed them yet again, furrowing his brows.

“Hmmm…well of course _you_ wouldn’t like to go somewhere the action’s happening, you’d rather be stuck in a _boring_ pile of _dirt_ and _rock_ wasting every ounce of your brainpower coming up with _ridiculous_ theories about so-called ‘history,’ when you know you could just pop back to the actual event and see what really happened. But you just love your bloody _archaeology_ , don’t you, _Professor_ Song?” he spat, cynical smirk on his lips.

Enraged, River slapped him across the face, flinging him to the ground.

“Don’t. You. _Dare_!” she fumed, mouth quivering as the tears poured down her cheeks.

“Oh, _I_ dare, you stubborn, infuriating, _insubordinate_ woman! What _good_ has archaeology ever done you? Why do you love it so much that you would desert your own husband who was in unfathomable pain after losing your parents just to go back to that rubbish thing you call a career? Well, here’s the thing, believe it or not, regardless of how much it hurt, I got on without you _River_. I _don’t_ need you to survive.”

“Oh really?” she scoffed, eyes red and deadly.

“You don’t believe me? Ha. I could live without you for as long as I wanted. Hell, I could live among _otters_ by _myself_ , and I’d be better off than I am right now.”

“Otters?”

“ _Yes_ , otters!”

“Fine. Go live with your otters, then.” River’s voice was laced with bitter sarcasm.

“You know what? I _will!_ Sure beats wasting another moment standing here with _you!_ ” he chortled, hands hovering over the controls at record speed until he made a safe landing.

“What are you waiting for? Get your sorry-little _butt_ out of here, then!”

“Ha--Did _you_ just kick _me_ out of _my_ TARDIS?”

“You’re the one who wants to sulk with otters.” She shrugged her shoulders, hand pressing to his chest and pushing him out to the doors.

“I am not _sulking!_ But since you are so convinced I can’t survive without you, I _will_ go _live_ with otters like a perfectly reasonable person. I’ll show you, _River Song_!”

* * *

 

“Stupid, bloody, mad, infuriating woman.” He mumbled through gritted teeth as he staggered out into the grass, watching as the blue box silently flickered out of sight. “Yeah, that’s _fine_ , just leave me here, then! Because I am the _Doctor_ , and I. do. Not. Need. _You_!”

Stepping backwards, the man in the bowtie tripped, losing his balance and falling straight into the icy pond.

Shivering and furious, the Doctor plowed through the water, hurling himself back onto the shore.

Behind him, the small, brown, furry animals squeaked, flapping their little arms.

“Stop laughing! That was not funny! Not in that _slightest_ bit!” he flapped his pointer finger at them as the water dripped off of his tweed blazer.

Another series of indistinguishable noises.

“Hey, it’s not my fault! I’ve just been deserted by my wife and my spaceship, what do you expect? If I’m going to live with you otters for a month, we need to develop a kind of understanding, yeah?”

Leaning on a nearby tree stump, the Doctor removed his soaked boots, laying them in the soft grass, before crossing his arms with a ‘harumph’.

“I am _not_ sulking!” he whined, hands gesturing angrily at the squeaking otters.

“Oh, shut up! You don’t know a thing about marriage, so I wouldn’t expect you to understand!”

“…”

“I’m not yelling either! I’m just frustrated, so if you could kindly let me…”

“…”

“What did you say? No, this is not my own fault! Let’s get this straight, this is all _River’s_ doing, I only reacted to her antics. And besides, _she_ started it!” without thinking, he shook the water-filled boot a little too hard and hurled into the pond.

“Oi! No more laughing! Get your grimy little hands off my boot _this_ instant! Give it back!”

But the otters grabbed the boot and pulled it under the water.

“Hey, I need that!”

“…”

“Not until I explain why I just walked out on my wife? _Excuse me_ , for your information, she kicked me out as I said before, I did _not_ —”

“…”

“Well, _alright_ , maybe I sort of did walk out, but _she’s_ the one who pushed me that far, so if you used your tiny little otter-brains, you would know that, _effectively speaking_ , that means she kicked me out!” he insisted, emphasizing each word.

“…”

“What do you mean, ‘illogical’? I am making perfect sense, you’re just not keeping up!”

“…”

“She’s just bloody infuriating. Never listens to a word I say. Even when I’m trying to protect her! She insists on doing things _her_ way.” His wet fringe bobbed up and down as he explained. “And don’t get me started on the gun. She never goes anywhere without it. Practically _sleeps_ with it. It’s like she doesn’t trust me enough to find a way to get us out without resorting to force.”

“…”

“Yes, I know she ‘rescued’ me with it today, but I assure you, I had a better plan worked out, if only she’d just _listened_!”

“…”

“Well, I don’t remember it now, after _that_ row! But I definitely had a plan. Or I probably did.” He scratched his cheek, placing his tweed on the grass as the otters gurgled.

“I’m over 1200 years old! I’m forgetful, it happens! You’ll understand when you’re older!”

“…”

“Because I was terrified! Putting herself in danger like that for my sake, it’s just bonehead stupid! And one day that recklessness is going to get her—well, never mind that.” The Doctor sighed, his eyes starting to water as he sunk backwards against the stump.

“…”

“I’m not crying.” His broken whisper gave him away. “ _Fine_ , you try it! You try looking at the person you love and being constantly reminded of how they’re one day going to die saving _your_ life. _You_ try it!” he shrieked, a bitter tear leaving his eye.

“…”

“Every—every time she saves me, I’m just reminded of—of that day she—” he hung his head, rubbing his eyes with his fists. “I’m afraid for her. I don’t want her get hurt for my sake. Last time—she—she broke her wrist, and I just…”

“…”

“I know I’m a rubbish husband! To be honest, I don’t know why she puts up with me…”

“…”

“I didn’t mean to! I was just angry! I didn’t want to shout at her. I really never meant to…she just…all I wanted was for her to be safe. I didn’t care what would happen to me. I wanted my wife safe, but she jeopardized that!”

“…”

“Well, naturally, she wants me safe too, but that doesn’t mean she has to…Oh, you’re right. I’m an idiot.” His eyes zipped shut as he ran a hand through his hair, defeated.

“…”

“I didn’t actually…I didn’t mean…oh no, she must _hate_ me.” he groaned, curled up in a fetal position, all gangly limbs.

“…”

“What—what did I say about the archaeology? Something about it being useless and stupid?” the hurt in those shimmering blue-green eyes came flashing back, tormenting his mind. “But River _loves_ archaeology. And she’s really good at it too…she worked really hard for those degrees, and I just…why did I have to say that? Why couldn’t I keep my bloody mouth shut? I suppose she had every right to slap me…”

The otters swam in circles, moving closer to the edge of the water, where the Doctor was slumped over miserably.

“And what does it matter if they were just earrings? They obviously meant something to her...I should’ve…a _good_ husband would’ve…”

“…”

“Well, of course I’m _sorry_. But I can’t very well tell her that, now can I? Because for one thing, in case you haven’t noticed, she’s not here! And I don’t expect her to return for quite a while. I really dug myself into a hole this time, yeah? Getting stuck with a bunch of otters for who knows how long? Hell, that’s worse than having to fit in with human beings…”

“…”

“It’s just that humans don’t really understand me. But you lot are even worse—asking me all these questions about _my_ personal business…you don’t understand either. Nobody does.” He clenched his jaw, tossing a pebble into the pond and watching as the ripples around it dissipated. “Except for…except for… _River._ ”

“…”

“Ha, you were right. I suppose I am sulking. And you were right about another thing too. I do need her. I always need my _wife_. More than anybody else in the universe.” He managed a crinkled smile, nodding sadly to the otters. “But she doesn’t need a stupid, _selfish_ old man like me.”

It wasn’t until he glanced to his left that he realized he’d gotten his second boot back. Sighing, he placed it beside the other.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I never have. And I know I never will.”

* * *

 

Sinking beneath the covers of her half-empty bed, River sobbed into her pillow, all the hurtful things her husband had said in anger rippling into her mind.

She knew she should’ve never reacted so violently, she should’ve stayed calm, she shouldn’t have…

The soft, soothing humming of the TARDIS filled her, and she shook her head.

“Yes, I know we were both angry. And I know he was scared, and maybe he didn’t intend to lash out, but it still hurt. All those things he said. If all it takes for him to insult me so vehemently is being pushed, then maybe he’s been holding that in all along…maybe he really believes…”

Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she silently thanked the TARDIS for being there for her when her husband wasn’t.

“Of course I love him, Old Girl. But sometimes…sometimes I wonder…does he really love _me?_ ”

The TARDIS jostled a bit, and River heard the whisper in her mind.

_‘Look over here.’_

_But I don’t want to._

_‘I know, Child, but look over here.’_

Resigned, River turned on her side, glancing at the large book on the bedside table.

“What’s this?” she asked, squinting to read the title.

_‘The Greatest Archaeological Wonders in the Galaxy’_

“What—what does that have to do with anything?”

_‘Just look inside, Child.’_

“ _Fine_.” Her curls sprawled in her face as she flipped thumbed through the pages, recognizing her husband’s handwriting instantly.

 River’s heart stopped, and she held her breath as she came to a page with this description:

‘Excavation led by Professor R. Song, University of…’

And there, beside her name, her husband’s familiar scrawl,

_‘That’s my girl. XX’_

A single tear slipped down her cheek, as she continued to the next page, this one describing another ‘Archaeological Wonder,’ and yet again graced by her husband’s handwriting. The upper right hand corner was carefully folded over, as if earmarked, and she could almost picture her husband’s loving fingers sliding over it.

Sentimental idiot.

He’d underlined a few words and written notes in the margins.

_‘Ooh, cool. Gotta take River here. She’ll love it.’_

_‘Maybe I should surprise her. Yeah, good plan.’_

_‘I can’t wait to see that beautiful smile.’_

But it wasn’t until she actually noticed the photograph that the notes pointed to that she felt the tears welling up.

There, pictured, was a breathtaking glass fortress, reflecting all the glorious colors of the sunset, situated amidst the very same mountains River had seen in a far different context, the mountains that had been the backdrop of a warzone, spewed with bodies and bloodshed.

‘The Great Fortress of Avvalon IV:

Built: 4300 AD

Destroyed: 6700 AD, at the start of the Great War’

And then her husband’s words,

_‘Oh boy, I hope I get the date right.’_

“I supposed you rather missed it by a long shot, Sweetie.” She chuckled softly, droplets skidding down her cheeks.

“Well, you know me, dear. Never was good with dates.”

Startled by the familiar voice, River dropped the book instantly, turning to meet her husband’s remorseful, tear-filled eyes.

“Still tired of dealing with me?”

“ _Never_ …I. Am. So. Sorry. _River_.”  He breathed slowly, chin quivering as he knelt beside the bed, taking her hand in his and pressing it right above his hearts. “I should never have said those horrible things to you. I was angry and I’m _sorry_. You deserve so much better than that. I didn’t mean…”

“I know.” She put his hand on the book, and he blushed, looking away. “And I _forgive_ you. I’m sorry too. I didn’t realize…”

“No, _River_ …”

“Hush, Sweetie. I said some nasty things to you too. And I’m sorry. No wonder you looked so happy this morning when you said you had a surprise planned…”

“That didn’t work out too well did it?” he laughed, face flushed.

“Forgive me?”

“Always and completely.” Her husband kissed the back of her hand, folding her fingers over something.

“Sweetie—what?”

“Just look at it.”

River’s eyes glistened as she recognized the tiny objects inside the box.

“Where did you—?”

“Found it on the TARDIS console.” He gave her his trademark lopsided grin. “And this.” Placing the little slip of paper in his wife’s hand, the Doctor watched her mouth open and close. “I understand now.”

Fingering the note, River soaked in the simple, yet beautiful words.

_‘For my beautiful wife, on our anniversary,_

_These earrings I’ve made, just a small token of my love._

_Hope you like them, dear._

_Love,_

_Your Husband XX_

_PS. I_ always _need you._

“But I lost note this a long time ago…and—and isn’t that—spoilers?”

“I suppose a little spoiler’s okay once in a while.”

He brushed a lose curl from her eyes, moving his finger down to swipe the tear on her cheek.

“Thank you.”

“I haven’t even written it yet.”

“But you _will_.” She bit back a smile, squeezing his hand.

“Thank _you.”_

“For what?”

“ _Saving_ me.” Smoothing circles in her palm, the Doctor brought her hand to his lips again. “And River—”

“Yes?”

“I _always_ need you.” Moving next to her, he slowly pressed his nose to hers, before leaning down to meet her lips, kissing her with all the tenderness he couldn’t even begin to communicate with words.

When they drew back, River giggled; her hand still nestled under his jacket.

“What?” he asked her, a clueless, adorable expression on his face.

“You’re soaked!”

“Ugh. Yes.” The Doctor admitted, scratching the back of his neck, embarrassed.

“Living with otters didn’t go too well for you, Sweetie?”

“It felt like an eternity before the TARDIS finally returned to get me. Pretty sure it was about a month. _A month_ , River!”

“No, probably more like a few hours, Mr. Time-is-not-the-boss-of-me.”

“Oh, Shut up, _dear_.”

“Sulking, Sweetie?”

“Yes, dear. Definitely _sulking._ ”

* * *

 

_‘I lived among otters once for a month. Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight…’_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it:)


End file.
